


Strawberry Lube.

by prinxing (ranithepirate)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranithepirate/pseuds/prinxing
Summary: Yixing and Lu Han argue about who wears the pants in their relationship. No conclusion is made however because they are both idiots.
Relationships: Lu Han/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Kudos: 24





	Strawberry Lube.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting all my EXO from tumblr onto Ao3. This was originally written May 17, 2015.

“You can’t be serious,” Lu Han deadpans, sitting across from Yixing at their breakfast table. It’s nearing two in the morning and neither of them are ready to go to bed yet because tomorrow is Sunday, and that means they can do whatever the hell the want tonight because they have no obligations waiting for them in the morning.

Their list of things to do, it seems, also included bickering about their manliness quota.

“I’m just saying that it’s obvious that I wear the pants in this relationship,” Yixing shrugs, scooping another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. A bit of the strawberry pink color sticks to his upper lip, but he licks it away just as quick as it had appeared. “I make all of our outing plans, cook every meal we have at home, and serenade you with romantic songs in public using only my voice and my guitar.”

Lu Han scoffs. “Xing, please, that’s nothing compared to what I do. Without me, the bills would never get paid, the apartment would never be clean, and you’d forget to _feed_ yourself, let alone cook. Not to mention that you’d never have anyone to get you that strawberry flavored lube because you’re too damn embarrassed to buy it yourself.”

“That was low,” Yixing pouts, nose crinkling. “I don’t buy that lube myself because it’s _clearly_ labeled for women, and I don’t want the cashier to give me strange looks again.”

The elder balks for a second before asking, “Wait, he gave you strange looks?” He feels his hackles raising at the thought of someone checking out his boyfriend. Lu Han tries to remember if the cashier was hot, but for some reason no face comes to mind. “Like what kind of looks?” he demands instead, placing down his half-empty carton of chocolate ice cream in favor of clenching his fists on the table.

“Slow down, Mr Possessive,” Yixing chuckles around his spoon, eyes glinting; Lu Han feels personally attacked by the cute dimple that winks back at him. The urge to kiss it is almost unbearable, but over the years Lu Han has learned to ignore that urge. Well, only sometimes. “It was just some random old guy that gave me dirty looks all the time.”

Lu Han tries to remember if he’d gotten any dirty looks before, but he comes up with nothing. “How come he never glared at me for buying women’s lube, then?” he wonders aloud, genuinely confused.

Yixing’s lips immediately press thin, obviously trying not to laugh at something, and for a second Lu Han is lost. Why was that funny? There was nothing funny about buying women’s lube. But then he realizes, facial features contorting into one of displeasure as he lunges over the table at Yixing. “You cheeky bastard!”

The younger is nimble on his feet, standing up quickly and jumping away, just out of reach as he laughs unabashedly. Lu Han is about to let it slide, weak to the evil dimple and too tired to go after him, but then Yixing starts dancing a terrible parody of Minah’s “I Am A Woman Too” from the hallway and Lu Han just can’t allow this sort of disrespect to go on any longer under his own roof.

“I’m older than you, you little shit!” Lu Han growls out, finally giving chase, and they knock over the chairs and a few things off the tables and counters before he finally grabs a hold of Yixing’s arm. The younger drops his now-empty carton of strawberry ice cream, the box falling to the floor with a muted thud, joined by the clattering of the spoon. The two of them topple over onto the floor, a flailing mess of limbs and laughter.

Yixing does some sort of manipulative ninja shit he probably learned from Zitao and Lu Han lands on his back first. It wouldn’t be a big of deal if Yixing doesn’t land on top of him, chest-to-chest, knocking the wind right of his lungs and making him see stars. Yixing is still laughing like the satanic demon he truly is and Lu Han is trying to gather his wits about him.

“I’m too old for this shit,” Lu Han grumbles, rubbing his face. He looks down at his chest to see where Yixing’s chin is digging painfully into his sternum, half-moon eyes curved into slits as he grins insolently up at him. That dimple is still there and honestly Lu Han wants to just kiss it again and forget about whatever it is they’re supposed to be arguing about.

“So then can we both agree now that I’m manlier?” Yixing chirps, hand snaking up to curl into Lu Han’s frizzy hair. He’s fucking heavy, but Lu Han likes Yixing so he doesn’t tell him to shove off like he would have to anyone else. But as usual, Yixing seems to read his mind and without asking he shifts so he’s straddling Lu Han’s thighs, still lying on top of him but no longer crushing him alive.

“Absolutely not,” Lu Han replies after pretending to think about it for a few seconds, pinching Yixing’s nose with more malice than was probably normal. It’s red when he lets go and it looks adorable, so he laughs. “This is a good look for you,” he decides to point out, and when Yixing tries to exact his revenge, Lu Han grabs a hold of both of his wrists, still laughing.

Yixing tries to escape Lu Han’s death grip but it’s hard and now he’s tired from all the running earlier. “But you’ll still get my lube for me, won’t you?” he asks finally, giving in and allowing his arms to drop to the floor. “Even if the cashier thinks that you’re a woman?”

Lu Han sobers up immediately and looks him dead in the eye, expression as serious as it can be when discussing strawberry flavored lube.

“Have you considered ordering online?”


End file.
